When Parents Are Involved
DISCLAIMER: I am not sure that this post will have much personal application to anyone not going into seminary right after college, or if it will have much application to anyone for that matter. However, it is part of my story and will shed light on what “going to seminary” means for me personally. Maybe your comments will provide me with some godly wisdom.
HERE WE GO! Thanks to the financial grace that the Lord has showered on me, I do not have to take out any loans to pay for the M. Div program at Covenant Theological Seminary. That financial grace has come in the form of “supportive” parents. I place the word supportive in quotation marks because my parents are Catholic. Covenant is the seminary of the Presbyterian Church in America. My parents are Catholic. Covenant is Pres…okay, you get the picture. As I began to sense a call to pastoral training, the last thing on my mind was financial support from my parents. I figured I would work, I would take out loans, I would pray for some scholarship(s). It blew my mind to think that they would even offer to pay for reformed theological training, when they continue to voice their concern that I may be excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church. It was such a crazy notion that I thought it could very well be the Lord’s doing.
I have been incredibly grateful for my parent’s financial support, but this past weekend, as my dad helped me move into my new & first apartment in Saint Louis, hesitation arose in my heart. While my dad continues to tell me that he would do anything to further my education, that money is not an issue, he is also older than most parents of a 22 year-old, as I was adopted (maybe I can get a Russell Moore book as well). He has already worked one full career and is now in the midst of another. He tells me he will continue to work until my education is finished, so I will not have any debt. He fiercely watches over me and wants to protect me from any hardship. My parents have such an emotional investment in my success that I am in fact beginning to worry. The only thing keeping my parents from retirement is that bill from Covenant. The company my father works for is moving next year. If he was still paying for my pastoral training, it is almost a given that my parents would move with the job–a move that would take them far away from my older brother, his wife, and three young children–”The Royal Babies,” as my parents call them.
In the past few days, what was once quite clear in my mind has become incredibly blurry. I am earnestly praying daily that a way to pursue pastoral training at Covenant would present itself–whether church support, scholarships, moving to part-time, while working full-time. Yet, at the same time, what if this is the way that the Lord has prepared for me!? By not having to worry about loans, or even a part-time job, am I not free to experience and soak up the seminary experience in a way that is greatly different than the majority of seminarians. Is this the way that the Lord has granted me more time to study and more time to serve a local church? I am not sure. And maybe this is right where He wants me, in a place where I can not rest on my own logic and wisdom, but must call out to Him. Proverbs 12:15 has been on repeat in my mind over these past few days: the way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
Even if my parents say that financially supporting me through the M. Div at Covenant will not be a burden, is there a catch somewhere? Over the past few months, I have been wondering how their definition of success at Covenant will differ in practical terms from striving to be a good servant of Christ Jesus. Will it matter to them if I am rooted and established in love, grasping how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:17-18) if I get Cs in all my courses? They say that they want me to pursue this with whole-hearted excellence, yet continue to communicate their fear that I may be excommunicated. I am wondering if they are waiting for an Avery Dulles moment to occur in me.
Lastly (for now), even though my parents have been willing to pay for my expenses at Covenant, I have been set on working part-time since the beginning of this summer. I thought the least I could do to honor them was to work some part-time hours to assist in paying my living expenses. But just this past weekend, my dad told me that rather than working part-time during Covenant, he and my mom want me to look into getting a teaching license in English (my undergraduate degree). I initially responded with complete opposition. Less than three months ago, at my college graduation, my dad was still questioning me if I was sure about this whole ministry thing. This notion of pursuing a teaching license through part-time schooling, while full-time at Covenant sounded to me as if they strongly doubted that I would make it through Covenant, much less be able to support myself or a family as a pastor. At the moment, I am not sure what to think. In trying to put my energy into Covenant and a local church body, is another degree program, even part-time/summer feasible? I strongly desire to honor the Lord and to honor my parents. There are some areas in my life where those two things are inseparable, but I sense that their will be moments throughout my time at Covenant where honoring the Lord will be in conflict with my parent’s desires. I truly need the Holy Spirit’s guidance in these matters.
As of now, I start classes at Covenant in exactly two weeks, I am unemployed, and I have a meeting with the Dean of Education at a university in the Saint Louis area this Friday. Praying for guidance, clarity, and another means of financial support!

In another blog, Craig Groeschel raises this question, “

The other day I received an email from a mom who was planning on starting seminary. She mentioned that she had trouble finding any sites or resources online that helped her with her unique situation. So, I did some investigating and was able to find some women who had some advice to give from their seminary experience. Today is the first of those interviews.
I was in St. Louis a few weeks ago and was given a tour of the
It’s hard to imagine that I’m already buying books for the fall semester. Don’t get me wrong, I have come to thoroughly enjoy, and, even get excited about, buying books (endless thanks to God for the opportunity and the means!). What is hard to fathom, however, is that I am about to start my second year in seminary. I concur with James that we “are a mist that appears for a little time and then [we] vanish.â€

If you are anything like me, then you experience seasons where you either are not able to read your Bible for personal edification or you seem to just run out of time each day. What makes it real bad is that I am a seminary student. Even worse than that, I am serving as a minister!




