A Better Husband

I have a problem.  I think I’m a pretty good husband.  Well, I guess it isn’t such a problem that I think that, but rather, the problem is how I came to that conclusion.

See, the world is full of crummy husbands.  There are guys out there who ignore their wives and substitute her for work, sports, friends, and any other countless thing.  There are husbands who talk down to their wives and treat them more like a servant than a lover.  There are husbands who constantly fight with their wives.  There are husbands who only think of themselves and never consider the feelings of their wives.

My problem is that I look at all these guys and think, “man, not only am I a good husband, but BOY is my wife lucky to have me!”

I’m not sure exactly when I had the epiphany, but there was a day when I was pondering how great my wife had it when I realized, “I’m not that great.”  The real problem was that I was comparing myself to the wrong standard.  I thought that, compared to most husbands out there, I’m a real catch.  But then I was reminded that I should be comparing myself to the perfect man, Jesus.

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and ?gave himself up for her.

Uh-oh!

Suddenly I realized that not only did my wife not have a “catch” but she actually got a raw deal.  I realized that I’m just as selfish and unloving as the next guy when compared to Jesus.

At that moment, and every time I have that “I’m better than that guy” thought, I force myself to look at the cross and ask God for mercy and grace to be a better husband.

As a seminary student it is easy to begin to think much more highly of yourself than you ought.  You can look around at a lot of crummy husbands out there and think, “I’m pursuing a noble calling.  My wife is so lucky to have a husband that is so passionate about Jesus and his church.  She sure has it good.”  Friend, it is time to look to the cross.  We have all failed to love our wives as we ought.

Two Cent Tuesday - Christmas Break

Well, for the most part everyone is finished up with the semester.  While a few of you might be putting the last touches on a paper or two, the rest of the seminary world is settling in for the holiday break.  Which leads to the question, “What is the best way to spend your holiday break?”

With just over a month off for most of you, what do you think is the best way to spend the time off?  Feel free to vote, but don’t forget to sound off in the comment section as well. (Hey, your on break, what else do you have to do besides comment on blogs!)

Sign Up and WIN

Over the weekend I launched a new feature here at GoingtoSeminary, our eNewsletter.  To celebrate the launch of this new venture, we’re giving away a $50 Amazon gift card to one lucky subscriber.  To be entered, all you have to do is sign up for our seminary eNewsletter… that’s all!

In January we’ll have a drawing from all the names in our eNewsletter database and the winner will be announced in one of our January issues.  So, sign up today.

Now, you might be thinking, “Why do I need to sign up for the newsletter?”

Well, the eNewsletter is another way to get great seminary insight and advice to help you on your along journey.  Each issue will contain:

• Original content not found anywhere else on GtS.
• Recaps of some of the most popular GtS posts that you might have missed.
• Announcements of give-aways and other special promotions.
• Information on scholarships and financial aid.
• and more really great stuff…

So, what are you waiting for!?!? More great seminary content PLUS the chance to score a $50 Amazon card! Sign up today.

Crossway Discount SAVE BIG

Katie from crossway dropped a comment on the site today to let everyone know that if you are an ETS member you can still get some BIG savings when you order.  Just let them know you are a memeber and you can get a 40-50% discount.  Not sure how long it is running - check with Katie!

Logos for Mac Now Shipping

Good news Mac lovers, the wait is over.

Seminary Student Spotlight - John Saddington

We’re starting a new feature this week. Every Saturday (er, well I guess today is Friday) none the less, the plan is that every Saturday we’ll introduce you to a seminary student. Now, sure we’re all (well, most of us) seminary students and we all know seminary students… so, why do we need to meet more? Well, I just thought it would bee cool to meet some new people and hear a little bit of their story… sounded cool to me. So, today we meed John Saddington.Just the basics (Name, age, family, work, seminary, etc):

Just the basics (Name, age, family, work, seminary, etc):

John Lee Saddington, married to Sue and the father of Roenne. I am the Creative Web Director at North Point Community Church and I’ve been attending Dallas Theological Seminary for 3 years working towards a TH.M.

Why are you going to seminary?

Primarily I’m going to Seminary to explore the gift of teaching that God has confirmed in my heart through scripture, prayer, and the wisdom and guidance of others.

I’m not sure what will come of the TH.M (concentration in Christian Ed) in that I’m not sure if it’ll lead to a vocational change, but perhaps. I think part of Seminary is finding out where God wants you to go and to be lead by Him.

What is the most difficult part of balancing seminary and the rest of life?

Finding the time for all the reading. Being intentional about one’s studies is crucial. Also the ability to humble yourself and drop classes when needed… I’ve had to do this nearly every semester.

What advice do you wish someone would have given you before your started seminary?

I wish someone would have told me how often “feelings of failure” would arise and how difficult it would be to manage those feelings. Seminary brings out the worst in people, and that’s a good thing if responded to appropriately.

What do you love most about seminary?

Without question the professors. They are incredibly wise and bring to the class a passion for the Word and an enthusiasm that one doesn’t often see. They challenge and delight.

What question should I have asked you?

Why did you choose the Seminary that you decided to go to?

I choose DTS because of their firm foundation in the Scriptures. Since the Word of God is the primary vehicle (for me) by which I received my spiritual growth by the Spirit I knew that I needed a seminary who “taught bible well”. DTS has not disappointed.

In addition, they have comprehensive language programs, going over Greek and Hebrew extensively. I’m a language “buff” and love it.

Here’s your chance for self promotion. Where can people find you online?

You can find me all over but primarily I blog at http://Human3rror.com and http://ChurchCrunch.com

When Balanced Is Not A Checkbox

Being married in seminary can be difficult. Making sure you don’t kill your marriage on the alter of academics is a balancing act we will all walk. Add children and a job and your complexity level just went through the roof.

To make sure that we’re keeping everything in balance, many of us go about a day and weeks with schedules and check boxes. Wake up - Check. Read Bible - Check. Go to class - Check. Read and study - Check. Spend time with family - Check. Watch a little TV - Check. Ahhh, a balanced day! Everything was checked! All must be well with the world.

Well, maybe not.

On couple weeks ago, on Sunday, I was in my office working on a project for Going to Seminary and my wife came in and I knew she was a little frazzled. She said she was taking the kids to the playground and that they were driving her crazy.

The way she said it, I knew that her current state was not just the fault of the kids, but also yours truly. However, I looked (figuratively) at my check boxes and everything seemed fine. I had worked all week - check. Was home for every dinner - check. Helped put the kids to bed - check. Spent time with the family on Saturday - check. Gone to church as a family - check. It was all checked.

But here I was, listening to my wife and knowing that though MY checkboxes were all full, something was wrong.

The main problem is that balance isn’t just about checkboxes (though the type-a in me wishes it were). When real people, real emotions, (and real toddlers) are involved, simply saying “I did my part” isn’t the right answer.

At the playground we talked a little bit and both clarified the unspoken expectations that we both had. For me, I was reminded that my wife and kids aren’t a checkbox. They are people that I love and care about. That means that some times, though I feel I “earned it,” I need to lay aside some of the things I want in order to love my wife and kids.

For you, it might honestly mean not studying for a test and taking a bad grade. It might mean not reading chapters 15-20 and not having anything to contribute to the class discussion the next day an looking bad in front of your peers when you don’t know answers to the professors questions. It might mean writing a 15 page paper instead of the required 20 and, gasp, getting a C- in a class instead of an A.

Seminary is important… don’t just be a lazy slacker… but your ministry to your family trumps school any day. In fact, you can get an A in seminary and still fail the apostle Paul’s exam 1 Tim 3:4-5.

Free MP3

Christianaudio.com is giving away 90 days of Morning & Evening, an audio recording from Spurgeon’s devotional classic. I’m not a big “devotionals” reader, but Spurgeon always brings the thunder. Use the code: DEC2008 to get your free copy.

Two Cent Tuseday - Finals

For some of you, you’ve already wrapped up the semester. For the rest of you, finals are right around the corner. As a follow up to yesterday’s post on trusting God in the big and small, how stressed do you get around finals time? Also, in the comment section, drop a line or two and let us know why you do or don’t get stressed? Any tips or advice for finals time?

When Things Don’t Go as Planned

How do you handle it when things don’t go as planned?

Big AND Small

For me, I feel like I typically roll with the punches, but my wife might tend to disagree with me. The funny thing is that I typically have a much easier time dealing with big issues that don’t go as planned than I do with the small things. For example, our plan to move our family to Florida and go to seminary didn’t go as planned, yet we trusted God and simply said, “Ok God, you know better than we do… so what are we supposed to do?” Now, I am the same guy who acts like his dog just died when he opens the pantry for an evening snack and discovers there is no cereal!

I think the issue for me is that I have a view of God that primarily involves the big things. I look at something like us running out of money for seminary and say, “well, it would appear that God is using this situation to form us more into the image of his Son. He has a plan for us and apparently it involves us not going to seminary right now.” However, something small happens and I suddenly forget that God is involved in both the big AND small things.

Seminary Appication

As a seminary student, now is the perfect time to remind yourself that God is in the big AND small. Whether you facing financial difficulty, marital struggles, issues with your kids, struggles with work… or maybe your late for class because of traffic or you forgot your lunch at home… this is the perfect time to step back and remember that God is with you. In both the big and small, the scripture instructs us to “Cast your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7). He cares and we are to cast these cares up Him.

GoingtoSeminary.com

On a personal level I need to remember this more often (right Jenn?). As it relates to goingtoseminary.com… well, I had grand plans for the holiday break. Alas, I was give the opportunity to help one of my best friends (a church planter in Richmond VA) to build his church’s new website. After completing the bulk of this work, my hard drive gave up the ghost (anyone know an Apple certified tech in Bellingham?). That means that all the GTS work I was hoping to do this weekend is delayed… alas, good things are still coming down the pike… They’ll just be released a little slower than planned. So, stay tuned.

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