Make Yourself at Home

In an earlier post, Ryan discussed how seminary can sometimes come to be viewed more as a means to an end or as a stepping stone than a time of formation and growth. Asking questions such as what plans we have after we are done with seminary only fuel this kind of perspective.

One of the problems with having this mentality is that you will not properly establish yourself in whatever area you move to in order to attend seminary. Understanding seminary as a stepping stone to something else will only lead you to view your whole life at that particular time and place as a stepping stone. You will never fully unpack the boxes, so to speak. Your apartment will be more like a hotel room than a home.

As a result, a few things might happen. First, you will likely not develop many solid and authentic friendships. Perhaps you are thinking about returning to wherever you came from, and so you focus your energy on maintaining those friendships and those ties. While there is not anything inherently wrong with this, it will keep you from building bonds between the people around you for the next several years. Those friendships are essential for getting through seminary. Your close friends will challenge you, encourage you, strengthen you, rebuke you, and just be there for you like your friends back home cannot practically do. If you do not establish those sorts of friendships, your time in seminary will be very lonely. If you are married, this will likely be an even greater struggle for your spouse.

Second, if you do not make that place authentically “home” for the time you are living there, it is likely that you will not develop the type of relationship with the church you choose to attend that you need to. You will certainly be a part of a church, especially as you are required to serve a certain number of hours as an intern at a church in order to get your degree, but you will not really become part of that church. You will do your duties, but you will miss out on the type of communal fellowship that belongs to the local body of Christ. Again, to miss out on this will make for a very lonely experience–not to mention the fact that this will seriously impede your spiritual growth and development.

These are only a couple of things that may happen if you take this perspective, but they are significant things. And while maybe you have plans to return to where you came from or to move somewhere else once you are completed seminary and serve in ministry there–and these plans are good–do not let them be your sole focus while you are in seminary. Cherish this opportunity with all your heart, and seek to immerse yourself in the blessings that come with being in this situation. Make it home for you (and your family) for the next few years, with all the connotations which that word conveys.

For some people this will be easier than others. If you have moved around a lot, making a new place home is maybe not that difficult. If you have lived in the same place your whole life, this will be more of a struggle. If you are newly married and this new place is where you are starting your lives together, the transition will be a lot easier. If you have friendships going back to your childhood, it will be tougher. But this is where God has placed you and has called you to for this point in your life, and you will mine all the riches of this experience if you allow yourself to. It may only be three years. But a lot can happen in three years. Grab hold of it.

Thrifty Thursday - Student Advantage

I thought I’d throw this one out there in case anyone might be interested. Student Advantage is a savings card that is only available to students and offers discounts on both local and online retailers. Much like the Entertainment savings guide we’ve mentioned before, the Student Advantage card does cost some money. However, it looks like you can recoup your expense in one or two purchases. Along with that, Student Advantage is offering a free trial month… So, if anything you can give it a try for free, save some money, and if you’re not happy you can cancel before you actually have to pay for the card.

If anyone has a Student Advantage card, let us know what you think.

Resisting Sedentary Seminary

Remember the “Freshman Fifteen”? What about the “Seminary Several”? Perhaps you escaped the undergrad weight gain only to find that now seminary hits you with the one-two punch of entering your *ahem* shall we say, less than prime years, coupled with devoting an inordinate amount of time to sitting, studying, and consuming large quantities of coffee and Snickers bars. Jeff and I thankfully haven’t added the Seminary Several, but we have discovered that Seminary equals Sedentary, and after a life of sports and activity, these past three years of seminary have taken their toll on our fitness to say the least. So, this past month Jeff and I took a weeklong summer intensive course. Even though I committed to staying alert, focused, and purposeful in gleaning as much as I could from class, by 11am on the first day I was drowsy and guiltily clicking through Facebook to keep myself alert. By the time lunch rolled around I was ready to ditch my healthy brown bag in favor of French fries and a Caramel Macchiato.

The Lunch Run

But (!) I was fiercely determined that I was going to take the opportunity to get some exercise during this summer class. So, I decided that during the lunch hour each day I would go running. Fortunately the weather cooperated, and I had just enough time to go to the gym, change into shorts, run for thirty minutes, then splash some ice cold water under my arms, and get back to class a little red in the face but energized beyond what any Starbucks would ever be capable of achieving.

I was amazed at the results. I found it so much easier to focus during the afternoons (and I’m a morning person so I can’t blame it on that!). I found myself energized, positive, enthusiastic, and feeling motivated to eat my healthy lunch rather than ditch it in favor of the McLunch I would later regret. On the last day of class it started to rain, and since I’m a wimp, I forewent a run in the drizzle, and instead chose to explore the weight room of our campus’s gym. I was amazed! While not the most state-of-the-art fitness center, they had great equipment and free weights. And I practically had the place to myself. I realized that I’d been through three years of seminary without ever taking advantage of the free fitness facilities (Perhaps free is not the word considering the size of our school loans). How many days did I shuffle through my classes, unable to keep myself alert without shocking doses of caffeine, when I could have been taking time to exercise my body, relax my mind, and recharge for the studies ahead?!

Read, Ride, and Run

So it made me think, I want to tell Seminarians to take advantage of the free (”included with tuition”) fitness facilities available to us as students. Play “Noon Ball”, go for a quick run or walk, lift a few weights, sit on the recumbent bike while reading that theology textbook. Don’t neglect to exercise the body God’s given you in your quest for exercising your mind. Both are important in our service for Christ. And you might just be surprised how much easier it is to focus on Greek after running around the block for Jesus. Don’t let Sedentary Seminary lull to sleep. Instead, stay one step ahead of the Seminary Several.

A Lesson You Need to Teach Yourself in Seminary

You have to take lessons wherever you can get them. That goes for life, and it goes for seminary as well. Even though a good seminary will have a thorough education set up for you covering all the essentials of theology, philosophy, history, apologetics, practical ministry, and whatever else, it will not (and cannot) cover every little detail that ministry will throw at you.

One of those little details is how to deal with people, especially people who are different than you. Certainly, no two people are the same, but there are some with personalities that mesh better with you than others. It is those others that can give you some of the bigger challenges you will face in life.

Depending on who you are, certain personality traits will get under your skin more than others. You may get frustrated with that guy who asks endless questions in your class that you find to be completely irrelevant. You may be bothered by the person sitting there playing solitaire looking extremely bored and uninterested. Maybe there is someone who incessantly tries to become the professor’s best friend. While the diversity of God’s creation is a wonderful thing, sometimes it can be a little difficult for us imperfect humans to deal with.

Unfortunately, I can’t give you the recipe for how to get along great with everyone. I am a unique person myself, and you may not even like me if you ever meet me (though I sincerely doubt it). But there are a few simple things to keep in mind.

First, remember that everyone is dealing with something, whether it is big or small. We all have our burdens and our struggles, and they all impact who we are in some way or another. Maybe that person who asks the endless questions is filled with so much joy to be able to study in a seminary environment that he just wants to soak up every little thing he possibly can. Try not to be annoyed with him, but be encouraged and challenged by his desire to grow.

Second, if there is someone out there who is particularly bent on getting under your skin, be the bigger person. Be humble about it. Paul admonishes us at numerous points in his writings to be at peace with one another, to seek mutual edification, and to build up the body of Christ (cf. Romans 14:19, Ephesians 4:1-16).

Third, just love everyone. It is a pretty simple command, and one which Scripture emphasizes a great deal. That is probably because it is also one of the toughest commands to put into practice. Loving people may take on a different form depending on who they are. Maybe loving that person you just cannot get along with means keeping a little more distance from them. A lot of seminary’s are big enough that you do not have to interact with each and every person. And that is okay. But accepting everyone in love is a key element to creating harmony and unity. It will have to happen later on in your ministry, and seminary is a great place to start practicing it.

Again, I do not have all the answers of how to deal with people of all different stripes, but I think there are some key things that we can do to work toward preserving our love and unity in Christ. What are your thoughts?

Two Cent Tuesday - Going on Vacation?

So, I’m sitting in the airport with my wife and we’re getting ready to head home from a short mini vacation. We knew that we could use some time away, just the two of us, after such a crazy 6 (actually 12) months. So, I arranged for my mom to come watch the kids and we were cleared to take off. The destination was a toss up for us. It was between going to the beach and soaking up the rays or flying up to Richmond and spending time with our friends we’d been missing. In the end, the friends ended up winning out and I’m really glad. It was so great to go and spend time with those people who mean so much too me… yeah, maybe it wasn’t as relaxing as 3 days on the beach, but it was refreshing to our souls.

So, as we sit hoping to get on this flight (flying standby) how about you? You heading anywhere this summer? Are vacations a time to relax for you or just a time to cram as much activity into your trip as possible?

Forming the Character of our Future Ministry

Many seminaries advertise their core emphases, God-centered and Bible-saturated curriculum, world-class faculty, modern facilities and great equipping strategy. Thank God for these places of higher learning. We want to be prepared for ministry in the church today, and the church needs the academy, and vice versa. Yet, story after story reveals the crux issue with seminarians after graduation is one of character not competence.

In all our learning of theology, biblical languages, let us not forget the reason and focus of our studies, and for our being Christian: Christ.

He is our Source and our Joy, and the One whom we desperately need. Without Him we will perish, and with Him we can endure all things. Cultivating this relationship is essential in seminary as in all of life. For without Him we can do nothing (John 15:4). We can get a new church, retake a course, but we have no other Savior. Cultivating the inner life of our souls is key when hitting the books and preparing for ministry. The motives and habits we form now will continue for decades and influence all whom we come into contact with (not the least our families).

On this point, Robert Murray McCheyne offered some essential advice to a young seminarian more than 150 years ago:

“Do get on with your studies. Remember you are now forming the character of your future ministry in great measure, if God spare you. If you acquire slovenly or sleepy habits of study now, you will never get the better of it. Do everything in its own time. Do everything in earnest; if it is worth doing, then do it with all your might. Above all, keep much in the presence of God. Never see the face of man until you have seen His face who is our light, our all. Pray for others; pray for your teachers and fellow students.”[1]

Although McCheyne never made it to 30 years old, in his pastoral ministry he saw great fruit. The key, however, was not in the fruit, but in his own faithfulness, brought about by heading his own advice, to “above all, keep much in the presence of God.” He took the call to know, love and enjoy our Triune God above all else, and saw it work out in a thousand practical ways. His character was deeply rooted in Christ, the result of daily faithfulness in the small things.

While in seminary, are you likewise knowing, loving and enjoying God, intentionally in His presence, and watching Him daily transform your character as you stare at Him? (2 Cor. 3:18).

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[1] Robert Murray McCheyne, letter to seminary student, 1840. Memoirs of McCheyne, edited by Andrew A. Bonar (Chicago: Moody, 1947), p. xvi.

Keeping a home library

Many Seminary students like books. Some of us, I being one, are book geeks. This means that we drive our spouses or housemates crazy with the amount of books that we seem to go through. So why is it important for the seminarian (and minister) to maintain a good library?

1. It allows you to have access to your thought process.
Hopefully, you are reading things you agree and disagree with. When you decide to keep certain titles it means that something important went on when you read that book. The level of importance may vary, but you want to keep the book as a resource for future needs. After a while, you can almost trace the history of your theological development by what titles are in your library. I love finding a book that I went through a couple of years ago. I end up being transported back to that time in my life.

2. You gain the ability to have better citations in papers.
What this means is that you know your library. To really do this, you need to have some sort of collection system for your notes. I use a searchable document that is updated every time I finish a book. This way I am able to quickly find sections that jumped out at me (more on this method at a later date). I have learned that I have a rotating stable of around 20 books that I use most of the time in my specific area of research. Many of these titles were books that I caught myself checking out 2-3 times from the library and decided to buy them. Some are out of print and having constant access to them allows me to not worry about them being checked out (or archived out of the stacks). I know these resources really well, and having them at my house (or wherever you keep your library) just makes it easier to write papers.

3. You can work on something at a moments notice.
While I am in an academic track in seminary, I also serve at a local church as youth pastor. It is a smaller congregation with a retired pastor. From time to time, I find out on short notice that I am needed to preach the next service (sometimes with a four hour notice on Sunday afternoon). Since I have been conscious about buying commentaries and other books, I usually don’t have to worry about not having access to the library at school to work on my sermon. I am slowly buying several commentary series, and when I am devotionally studying a certain section of the Bible I try to buy one or two commentaries on the book, because most of my short notice sermons come from what I have been going through in my own personal study time.

I also am a night owl. So when I am working on a project, or just a blog post at three in the morning, I can go over to my library and find what information about whatever I need.

Part of keeping a good home library is knowing how and when to buy books. Every Seminary student is short on cash, so we can’t just having shopping spree’s at the bookstore. How to build a library on a budget will be talked about in my next post.

Thrifty Thursday - Taking Care of Your Cloth Diapers

Last week I wrote about cloth diapers. This week I would like to elaborate a bit more on the care of the cloth diapers as well as a few more tips for being a good steward of your funds while keeping your children clean.

Rinsing the Dirty Diapers

Last week I talked about attaching a kitchen sprayer to your toilet to clean out the dirty diapers. It is not as hard as one would think and it does not take as much time as one would think. Another benefit of having the sprayer attached to the toilet is that it makes rinsing down the bath tub much easier than just using a cup of water. (Because I keep my hair short, I usually cut it myself in the bath tub so as to contain the cut hair.)

At the end of this article, I have included step-by-step directions for how to make the diaper sprayer as well as how to attach it to your toilet.

Containing the Diapers

There are a couple schools of thoughts on what to do with the diapers while they are waiting to be washed. The first is to fill the diaper pale (trash can or whatever) about 1/4 or 1/3 of the way full with water and sprinkling some baking soda which acts as a neutralizer for the odor. The problem with this is that when the pale gets full of diapers and the additional water from spraying them out or the other bodily fluids that come in diapers, it tends to get pretty heavy. Unless you have handles to carry it, it can become very awkward to carry.

The second school of thought is to just rinse them in the toilet and toss them into the container. Our trash can that contains the diapers has a lid that flips open that we bought at Wal-Mart for like $8. My wife and I have discovered that the odor is hardly there and that it is easier to not only carry but to get into the wash machine. If there is an odor, we use vinegar during the first rinse cycle.

Washing the Diapers

***This is only cost effective if you have a washer and dryer. I would not do this at a laundromat or on-site coin laundry at a complex.***

The actual washing (or warshing if you are from the mid-west!) of the diapers is a two-step process in the washing machine. First, you dump the diapers into the wash and set the machine on the second rinse cycle (after the first spin cycle) This will agitate the diapers and get any extra junk out of the diapers and then spin them out before actually washing them. This is an important step.

After this first step is done, you then act as though you are washing a regular load of laundry except you should use a liquid detergent (All or ERA is what we use) that does not have any perfume or dyes. To be honest, I am not sure why this is necessary, but everything I have read says that this helps extend the life of the diaper.

I always set my load setting on the largest load capacity in order that there is more water for the diapers to be washed in. I also use the hot/hot setting for the water temperature. It is my opinion that this helps with the sterilization of the diapers each wash.

Drying the Diapers

We use two methods for this as well depending on how much time we have on a given day. The first method is to throw them in the dryer and set them on the low heat setting. This usually takes 40 minutes to dry the diapers completely. If you uses the high heat setting, the diapers begin to crack and the longevity of them is much less.

The second method is to hang them on a rack or clothesline to dry. We do not set them in the sun for the same reason we do not set them on the high heat. We hang them on a clothes rack we bought at Wal-Mart (bet you wouldn’t have guessed that) and then put them in front of one of our fans overnight (or not). After they are done drying this way, we throw them in the dryer on the no heat cycle just to fluff them up a bit.

It may seem like a lot of work put into saving a few bucks on diapers, but it really is not. We have two kids in diapers which translates to about two extra loads of “laundry” each week. Spraying out the dirty diapers does not take very long at all, either.

I will write later on how to either make your own wipes out of paper towels or simply make your own cloth wipes.

Directions on how to make a diaper sprayer

Supplies needed- you can get them at any hardware store

3/8″x3/8″x3/8″ tee
barb splicer
sink sprayer
hose clamps 2
toilet supply line

1. Shut off water at the valve behind the toilet
2. Remove supply line to toilet from the valve
3. Install 3/8″x3/8″x3/8″ tee to valve (One end should be horizontal- the other two are up and down)
***One of the two “up and down” ends needs to be a male (with the ability to attach to something) end and the other a female (with the ability to receive an attachment) end. The horizontal part needs to be female.***
4. Take the removed supply line and install it to the tee-the top of the tee
5. Cut off large end of new toilet supply line
6. Insert the barb splicer (this will connect the toilet supply line and the sprayer)
7. Put hose clamp on the new toilet supply line
8. Cut off very end of the sink sprayer
9. Install on the other end of the barb splicer
10. Add all of this to the other end of the 3/8″x3/8″x3/8″ tee-which is horizontal
11. You are finished. You can buy a hook to hang the sprayer on the wall.

Total cost: about $17.00-$21.00.

Sustaining Relationships

This is a guest post written by Mark Warnock.

People wash out of seminary and out of ministry all the time. Sometimes the most promising people in ministry self-destruct, abruptly landing in the hospital, divorce court, or on the front page. Others just tire out and change careers.

In every case I’ve personally observed, a major factor in ministry dropout is a simple neglect of key relationships that keep us on an even moral and emotional keel—what I call sustaining relationships. These are God’s resource to keep our emotional and spiritual tanks filled up, even as we pour them out in ministry.

Here’s how critical breakdowns often happen: You give and give and give of yourself in ministry. The demands are always more than you can meet, but driven by a noble work ethic, you over-give, to neglect of your walk with God, your family and friends. It looks like servanthood, but it’s really pride. You run dry, and then you are fair game for washing out.

In one common scenario, you find an easy, familiar way of finding some little relief: porn, the cute girl at work, drinking, gambling, smoking, whatever. We usually go back to the old “medicines” we used to enjoy. Sometimes it stops there, but sometimes, you start rolling downhill.

In the alternate scenario, you manfully struggle on, depleted, until the wear on your body, your faith and your relationships becomes unsustainable.

This happens far more often than any of us want to admit. Seminary students need to give high priority to their sustaining relationships. Once established as habit, this will become an important hedge against ministry failure or burnout.

Last month I got a call from a friend in ministry I’ll call Glen. He called me to confess he’d been viewing pornography for a few weeks. This surprised me. Glen is no dilettante; he’s mature in age and in his faith, and has a successful, deep ministry. As we talked it out, some contributing factors emerged:

• He’s working too hard
• His wife just went back to work full-time and they have much less time and energy for each other.
• He’s not sleeping well.
• His time with God lacks the calm, unhurried quality that he needs.

It’s dead simple. He’s overextended. His most important sustaining relationships are out of kilter, and out of exhaustion, he’s reverting to old patterns of medicating himself.

Ministry and life drain you; sustaining relationships fuel you. Go too long without that fuel, and you will break down. Here are the ones you should pay attention to:

Key Sustaining Relationships

God. Jesus was constantly surrounded by demanding crowds; they wanted healing, a miracle show, or just a free meal. His disciples bickered and missed the point more than they got it. So Jesus deliberately took hours of time to get away and be with God, to the point where people came looking for him. Learn now to step away from your ministry to be with God and leave people looking for you. This will require that you leave things undone.

Spouse. Your husband or wife is there to help you. Their love will help sustain you. This is not to say that spouses can’t be a drain; they certainly can. But a well-maintained marriage is a source of strength, energy and joy like few others. Spend whatever time you need to get it right and keep it right.

Children. Like spouses, children can be a drain, but the joy of watching and enjoying your kids is like nothing else. Don’t cheat them or yourself.

Your body. You need to sleep. Psalm 127:2. God designed us to be unconscious a third of our lives. Rebellion against this design is Luciferian arrogance. Cast your cares on the Lord and go to bed. A counselor friend of mine says that sleep deprivation is a rampant, unacknowledged factor in most of the sin, addiction, and family dysfunction that he sees.
You need to exercise. Pastors are notoriously sedentary and have the heart disease to go with it. Get out and move. It will improve your metabolism and your mood.
You need to eat well. The typical American diet will leave you sluggish. Avoid fast food; go for fresh fruits and veggies, drink lots of water.

Close friends. Here I mean people who give you energy, who know you and love you, and can easily see if something is wrong with your soul. This may include accountability or prayer partners, or maybe just lifelong soul friends. Nurture and cherish these friendships, and make time for them along the way. And be careful not include in this category any hangers-on who are drawn to your spiritual depth but have none of their own. They will only drain you.

People who challenge you to grow. These are mentors, folks whose faith and life stir you up. For instance, I have a few intelligent, well-read friends who can interact with me on history, philosophy and politics. This is nourishing to me. You don’t necessarily have to know these mentors personally. One of mine is James MacDonald, pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel, who I’ve never met. His no-nonsense, in-your-face preaching (via podcast) is a tonic for my faith.

Notice that seminary classes aren’t on this list. Study is part of the drain (Ecclesiastes 12:12), and knowledge is not life.

A few questions for reflection:

• Right now do you feel generally tired or energized?
• Is your time with God of sufficient quantity and quality as to be perceptibly refreshing to you?
• How is your relationship with your spouse? Really good, or just ok? How about your children? Are they getting enough of your time?
• When was the last good night’s sleep you had?
• Who in the last two weeks has asked probing questions of your soul, to find out how you really are? Have you answered them honestly? If no one has asked, why not?
• Do you feel that you’re deeply loved?

Mark Warnock is the General Editor of Seminary Survival Guide.com. and an occasional contributor to Going to Seminary.

Summer Intensive

Well, today I start a week of a 9-5 class called Introduction to Pastoral and Theological Studies.  I’ll write a post later in the week to give some of my thoughts on 1 week intensives, but for now I just wanted to comment on how amazing my fellow classmates are in this class.

So, one guy is a missionary in Turkey whose pastor is beat and stabbed on a regular basis.  Another is a missionary to China who has been kicked out twice.  Another is a guy from S. Korea who went to elementary school and university… between that he studied judo.  Oh, and then there is John Piper’s assistant…  I’ve never felt so boring.  Thankfully, Kari’s post from Saturday reminded me this seminary isn’t a competition.

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